Day: September 28, 2012

You Missed It: Return of the zebra edition

Apparently today is Drink A Beer Day, or as we call it around here, “Friday.” This is the first I’ve ever heard of this holiday, but I like it. It’s simple and to the point. Its name even tells you how to celebrate. I’m going to guess that all you do is buy a beer and a card and mail them both to your Drink A Beerentine with a note that says you love them as much as beer, then you drink the beer. Correct? If you were busy fasting for Mitt Romney this week, odds are you missed it.

Back in stripes
The NFL and the referees’ union came to an agreement this week in time for Thursday’s game. The need for real refs was highlighted during the Monday night game, where a bad call led to the Seattle Seahawks walking away with a victory over the Green Bay Packers and a growing outrage among coaches, players and fans. The news is best for the Lingerie Football League, which will finally get back its officiating crews.

Confirmed bachelor
Recently a gospel of Jesus written in the second century came to light. It was only a fragment, and mentions that Jesus had a wife who could be his disciple. This week, an editorial in a Vatican newspaper said that the texts are probably fake. The forgery argument centered around the line, “He gathered His disciples and said, ‘What do you guys think about that Honey Boo Boo show?'”

There’s a new element in town
Japanese scientists created a new element this week, one that has 113 protons. It’s temporarily called “ununtrium,” meaning “one-one-three.” It is only a matter of time before they figure out a way to incorporate it into their robot-armor-schoolgirl-outfit-wearing cartoons.

Oh, Canada / Who knew that you are governed?

In the midst of U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon’s busiest week of the year — the U.N. General Assembly — he received a call from what very well could have been the Canadian Prime Minister. Sure, it turned out to be two French Canadian radio disk jockeys, but could you pass that test?

And, in related news: Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad pulled a double-whammy on Israel this week. First, he used his entire allotted speaking time before the General Assembly to accuse Israel of trying to drum up a war. Then afterwards, he and his 100-member entourage tried to steal All The Savings at Payless and Costco.

Ahmadinejad responded to reporters outside of Payless, telling the American media to “tell your Jewish masters that, despite their attempts to derail our programs, the Islamic Republic of Iran has obtained Hush-Puppies at wholesale prices.”

The beer that grows on faces

Beer is a good thing, it’s one of The Guys’ favorite things in this terrible world of ours. But we like when our beer comes traditional places, like a lab.

Recently, Rogue Ales was searching for a new strain of yeast to create a new brew, and the company searched everywhere. Brewmaster John Maier found that it was right under his nose. Lab guys took nine hairs from his beard and found that there was indeed a new strain they could use.

They are testing it out now, but you can get beard beer early next year, look for Rogue Ales’ “New Crustacean.”