Day: October 8, 2012

The McBournie Minute: In defense of Christopher Columbus

Years ago, Columbus Day was a major holiday for the Italian community. Think St. Patrick’s Day, but with less puke, more mustaches and the same amount of Catholics. It’s probably still celebrated that way in some areas of the U.S., but it’s just not the big deal it once was, in part because we figured out that Columbus wasn’t the first European to find the New World, that honor belongs to the Vikings, most likely.

It’s a strange quasi-holiday. Some people have it off, most people don’t, and no one is sure how to celebrate it. I never had it off as a kid, but I heard tell of a time, also known as When My Parents Were Kids, when Columbus Day meant a long weekend, even for students. Since then, a lot of people have said, “Hey, this Columbus guy didn’t really ‘discover’ America, because there were civilizations living here long before he showed up.”

Well, hippies, here’s why it’s an important holiday, particularly in the U.S. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: In defense of Christopher Columbus

Brotherly love means hitting each other

Two weddings clashed in the bar of the Sheraton Society Hill in Philadelphia. Guests caught the very early Sunday morning brawl on camera, which left 1 dead and 3 arrested.

One of those witnesses, 15-year-old Max Schultz posted video of a police officer holding back one of the brides as a man in a tuxedo is thrown to the floor. “Did they just deck the bride?” he asked.

Yes, Max. It’s tradition in Philadelphia to deck the bride. If there isn’t a receiving line after the ceremony for every to get a hit in, then it is up to guests to approach the bride sometime during the reception, preferably after dinner, but before the cutting of the groom, and wallop her good. If this sounds weird or gross to you at 15, you’ll understand when you get older.

Flushing the city’s troubles all away

Last week, Harare, a city in Zimbabwe, asked its home owner residents for a great favor. At approximately 7:30 pm on Wednesday evening, it was requested that they all flush their toilets at that time. Not before, not after, just simultaneously at 7:30 pm. It was hoped that by doing so, it’d clear the waste that’s been building up in sanitation facilities thanks to a drought.

Sadly, there’s been no word since the experiment. Was it successful? Has the city been overrun with a wave of filth?

Hope for the best, expect the crappiest.

Justice is serious business in Ohio

Ohio’s importance is increasing with every day that we get closer to Election Day. It’s a swing state, and everyone in Ohio thinks they are really important every election, (how adorable!), so it’s clear that the state Elections Commission has some serious matters before it right now. Matters like whether a county prosecutor put her panties on a judge’s desk.

Hocking County Prosecutor Laina Fetherolf denies a story that has been going around out her, started by a rival lawyer, she believes, regarding her panties. The story goes that she was wearing dark colored panties and a light colored dress, making it a little distracting in the courtroom. So she went into the men’s room, took them off, and put them before the judge, saying, “Problem solved.”

Fetherolf asked the Elections Commission to force the man to retract his story, but the board ruled that there wasn’t direct evidence that he had said anything in the first place.

Judge Wallace was restrained about details, but he agreed with the prosecutor: “No panties have ever been placed on my bench by anyone, including her.”