Aim higher sir, aim higher!

We all know that cops sometimes get free things. At my IHOP, if you use a coupon, you have to sign a folder that’s listed as “Coupons/Police.” They get to use the siren on their car and never have a headache. Sometimes they even get extra-sized portions of food at places. And best of all, they get to have syrup-chugging contests.

These are perks for real cops, not people that impersonate the fuzz. That said, it’s understandable for why people might want to impersonate them. So if you’re gonna go, go big, right?

Somehow, I don’t think McDonald’s qualifies as big.

Simply put, we need a better breed of criminals.