Day: October 16, 2012

Eat My Sports: The new ‘what the hell?’ NFL

Welcome back kids, and say hello to the new bizarro NFL! That’s right step right up and see that the NFC West is being led by the 4-2 Arizona Cardinals, see that 3-3 earns you a tie for first AND last place in the AFC East! It’s a bold new strange world, and I would say get used to it, if it wasn’t an annomily.

Consider this as an example, last year the Steelers, Packers and Patriots went a combined 40-8. This year, and I’m guessing the Mayans might have something to do with this, those same three teams are 8-9. Three of the most steady franchises over the past decade plus, can’t get a pulse on what’s going on, and we’re having annual jokes like the Cardinals and Texans enjoying a string of success to start the year off. Continue reading Eat My Sports: The new ‘what the hell?’ NFL

How To: Turn your kid in a blow gun

Longtime readers, no time commenters may recall that Guys Bryan McBournie and Rick Snee used to alternate a weekly feature called “How To.” Although we’ve since fallen off the controlling-your-life wagon, every so often we’ll run across a life skill we didn’t even know that you need.

Moms, are you prepared to administer … “The Mother’s Kiss?”

Used when (not if) Junior lodges something up his nose, the now pediatrician-approved “Mother’s Kiss” is the best way to remove that object without a panicked ER visit. (Note: Never use tweezers or pliers to pull a foreign object out of your child’s nose. You might need those to pluck your eyebrows later.)

Simply plug the Cheerio-free nostril, and then seal your mouth over your husband’s child’s open mouth. Next, blow. Executed properly, the tiny race car should shoot out of either the nostril or the ears.

McJordan BBQ sauce may not be all that McWorth it

If you couldn’t tell, we here at SG are sports fans. We may not all agree on the best team to root for, but when it comes to the athletically talented individuals, we cheer for them (except for anyone named John Rocker). Truthfully, we can even get a little obsessed.

That said, we’re not too obsessed. And by too obsessed, I mean insane enough to buy 20 year old barbecue sauce used for a promotional fast food item at the choice price of just under 10 grand. Because let’s face it, that’d be crazy and unhealthy at an all new level.

Now excuse us while we go seek out a special, limited edition cask of Ron Burgundy scotch.

The turtle that always needs a mint

We fight animals, of course, because they are our natural enemies, and are teaming up to defeat us and rule the Earth, but we also fight them because some of them are just plain weird.

The Chinese soft-shelled turtle is weird looking. First off, it has a soft shell, and yet, it’s a turtle. The whole reason turtles have existed for millions of years is that they have this hard shell on their backs that acts as some pretty sweet armor against predators. But weirdest of all is that they also pee out of their mouths. That’s right, they have pee holes, but they can also release urea through their mouths.

We have our new favorite researcher to thank for this discovery.