Day: October 17, 2012

Take it from Snee: Explaining the U.S. Electoral College to foreigners, children

So, you’ve learned about our branches of government and the positions in each one. You’ve learned about both of our political parties and all the pity parties people vote for when their candidate doesn’t get nominated. You’ve even learned how to practice democracy, so now it’s time to vote for the President of the United States in less than a month, right?

Eh … sort of.

Our electoral system, like the rest of our government as we know it today, was established in about two crazy months in secret back in 1787. Let’s just say that, in order to evade the Articles of Confederation and get all the states to agree in writing, some fast and heady compromises were made. The Electoral College, which is what you’re really voting for, is one of them.

Confused? Don’t worry. Even most seasoned citizens don’t quite understand how it works, making this the most requested “Explaining … to Foreigners and Children” guide I’ve never wanted to write. Nevertheless, here is the Electoral College.  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Explaining the U.S. Electoral College to foreigners, children

LIVESOMEONEELSE

In the wake of allegations by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, Lance Armstrong has stepped down from chairing his line of cheap men’s accessories, Livestrong. Minutes later, Nike announced that they will no longer use him as a spokesman (ha!).

The non-profit, non-governmental USADA put out a report last week accusing Armstrong and his Tour de France teams of using performance enhancing drugs to win the race seven consecutive times from 1999 to 2005. Since then, Armstrong has been on the ropes, debating whether he will submit to a polygraph.

Armstrong said he looks forward to spending more time at home with his testicle … provided that he hasn’t given it cancer, too, with all those  alleged hormone treatments he didn’t take.

So it got poked out of its head?

Earlier this week, we warned you about a monstrous abomination that had managed to get wounded, leaving part of its horrifying and gigantic body behind. Science-type folks were stumped by just what could actually have an eye the size of a softball.

Well, the the wait is over and science has identified the organ as the eye of a … swordfish.

No, not the type that mingles with Hugh Jackman, John Travolta and the ta-ta’s of Halle Berry, but the bestial kind. We’re hearing reports of cheering, but think about this: just how does a beast that big manage to lose its eye? Is there now a giant swordfish swimming in the oceans resembling Nick Fury, post-grenade? And if the swordfish lost the eye in a fight, just how big was the creature that caused it to lose said eye?

Keeping the robots stupid so they can’t rise up

A robot has been trained to write calligraphy just as a human would, and to no one’s surprise, this experiment happened in Japan. Researchers at Keio University have developed what they call the motion copy system, which allows a robot to identify, store and recreate complicated brush strokes.

Fortunately, no one does calligraphy anymore but street vendors, thanks to the rise of movable type, and of course desktop publishing. Perhaps training robots to do things we no longer do is just the thing to keep them busy and a few decades behind us.

Here’s what we’d like to see them taught how to do next:

  • Read ticker tape
  • Operate a fax machine
  • Adjust the television’s rabbit ears
  • Rewind tapes in VCRs
  • Develop film
  • Make our girlfriends mix tapes