MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Messengers’

Note: Because my dad is a worrying sack of worry, please know that he and my mom were good parents to me and did not knowingly allow me to watch the filth that was the Action Channel. There, you happy dad?

When talking about the worst horror movies out there, you have to talk about The Messengers. Without a doubt, it’s easily the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen, and as you can see over the years, that says a lot. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Messengers’

Hippies strike again

For anyone that’s not aware of it by now:

  • This is the United States of America. We operate on a system based upon capitalism.
  • Our financial system uses money, or legal tender as it’s sometimes known. That is the only way to pay for things.
  • Our financial system is not the barter system.

For future reference, please stop trying to buy things with what you think is the equivalent worth. Pay the full price or don’t get the item.

Shark bombs are the newest threat

We have the clearest evidence yet that animals of vastly different species are working together to disrupt our lives, and of course, kill us all. What’s more dangerous than a shark? That’s right: a flying shark.

It’s estimated that seconds after a group of golfers left the 12th tee of the San Juan Hills Golf Club in San Juan Capistrano, California, a deadly, two-foot long leopard shark fell from the sky. The good news is that it didn’t come from a vengeful god. The bad news is that it likely came from some kind of bird that brought it out of the sea and dropped it, hoping to hit the golfers. We have no proof, but it seems only likely that this was a coordinated attack by both the bird and the shark.

A greenskeeper found the shark and brought it back to the ocean before it could be interrogated. Next time, it won’t be so lucky.