Month: November 2012

You Missed It: Party’s over edition

Can we call it quits with “Gangam Style” already? South Korean rapper Psy seems to be everywhere these days, and really, his pop song got old before Halloween. White people just like any song that has a simple dance tacked to it. By now, he should be releasing his follow-up love ballad or something. Did anyone really think that the next M.C. Hammer would be Korean? If you were busy losing the Powerball jackpot this week, odds are you missed it.

Partying too hard for the feds
Andrew W.K., who once said, “Partying is our best hope for world peace,” was going to be a U.S. cultural ambassador to Bahrain. All of the coordination with the State Department, the flights were booked, it was a done deal. And then State pulled the plug without giving a reason, thereby canceling the party. Bahrain will have to find ways to break their noses on their own. Thanks, Obama.

Meeting a second time
The Disney Channel announced this week that it will be launching a spin-off of the popular 1990s show Boy Meets World, which aired on ABC from 1993 to 2000. They have even gotten Ben Savage and Daniel Fishel, the show’s main couple, to reprise their roles. According to the reports, the show will be called Girl Meets World and focus on Cory and Topanga Matthews’ 13-year-old daughter, as she tries to come to grips with the fact that Mr. Feeny will never leave her family alone.

Lisa Frank is from the DPRK
This week, North Korea discovered unicorns. OK, well they didn’t find the unicorns themselves, but they did find where the unicorns once lived. According to a report from North Korea’s official news agency, researchers have found the lair of the unicorn ridden by King Tongmyong, who reigned a couple centuries before Christ. They figured it out because the words “Unicorn Liar” are etched on the cave. Between this and Kim Jong Un being named The Onion’s sexiest man alive, North Korea’s having a pretty big week.

The Supreme Court is a great band

A lot of press is being thrown the way of the Rolling Stones, who, unlike other iconic bands of their time, manage not to break up or die, despite a musical necessity.

Thanks to some plucky journalists out there, we can now say with certainty that the Supreme Court on average is younger than the Rolling Stones. It’s worth noting that a seat in either body is unimpeachable and for life. Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and the other dudes are an average of nearly 69 (heh) years old, whereas the bench is merely 67.

Let’s keep in mind that Ruth Bader Ginsberg is old enough to have all of their albums on vinyl in their original pressing.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Rise of the Guardians’

Rise of the Guardians is based on a premise so simple, it’s brilliant: what if all our cherished childhood figures knew each other? And what if they banded together to face the forces of darkness, in much the same way The Avengers do? But for kids!

That may sound like a bad thing or come across as me putting the movie down. Don’t begin to look at it that way at all. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Rise of the Guardians’

NYC travelling window briefly opened and closed

So, you know, fuhgeddaboudit.

New York City managed to have a red letter day, as in no red letters were spelled out in blood on their many sidewalks or studio-apartment hardwood floors. That’s right: New Yorkers managed to not kill each other for an entire 36 consecutive hours, which police are calling “a case of that one Monday.”

Nobody is entirely sure why NYC’s assassins took a Senior Skip Day, but it is part of an overall trend of decreasing violent crime nationwide. Still, for 8 million people who presumably relive Seinfeld every damn day, it’s commendable that not one took a Festivus pole to their group’s George. (Or smelly cat to their Phoebe if you grew up on Friends.)

Of course, like all good things, this, too, had to end. By Tuesday morning, the city’s last nerve was trampled, ending in a good ol’ fashioned shooting. Oh, and Lindsay Lohan slapped somebody.

So, if you’ve been waiting for a safe time to visit the Big Apple, that train has re-derailed. It was a good run, everybody!

Who would’ve thought booze and alcohol would be bad paired together?

For those that didn’t catch Savages in the theater, allow me to sum it up for you: it’s not good. Oh sure, it’s got some moments, it’s got Salma Hayek in thoroughly unattractive haircut, it’s even got the always entertaining Benicio Del Toro. Despite those traits, it’s still not good.

Could someone do it better? Potentially. Is it a worthy movie to view while inebriated? Sure.

Should you try to recreate the movie with real guns and real ammo after consuming a sizable amount of real alcohol. Probably not.

You have the right to remain flightless

Once again, England knows what it’s doing.

Somewhere in Great Britain (like you’d know the town or shire name in the first place), police were called to wrangle an emu that was wandering around on a crowded road during rush hour trying to break into houses. They convinced the large bird to get into the back of a police car, where it was likely cuffed at the feet and brought in for questioning.

The only sad part about this story is that the bird was not charged with anything and returned to its owner, who was also not charged with anything.

Take it from Snee: Time to let Florida secede

The city of Miami will strike first.

SeriouslyGuys documented earlier this month how crazed and/or bored Internet users in mostly Southern states filed petitions to secede from the United States almost immediately after President Barack Obama won reelection. Of course, many Web sites like ours joked about letting those mostly former Confederate states go their merry, debt-filled, uninsured way.

Look, nobody most people weren’t really serious about that. Not really, anyway. While, yes, things would be simpler if the states that require the most federal money, yet never want to pay for it, struck it out on their own, we wouldn’t be the same country. Deep fried Oreos would be reclassified as “ethnic food” just because it comes from another country, and our nation’s foodies eat enough fried foreign tripe as it is.

But, what about Florida?  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Time to let Florida secede