Day: November 8, 2012

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Wreck-It Ralph’

For just a mere moment early on, Disney’s Wreck-It Ralph looks like it’s attempting to ape Pixar’s Toy Story. There are certainly superficial similarities: Both animated films initially focus on the relationship between children and their playthings. Both address what those playthings do in their downtime, when no human beings are looking.

But Wreck-It Ralph has loftier ambitions than imitating a previous success. It’s a wildly exciting ride that’s also a surprisingly ambitious, crafty film that piles subplot upon subplot, building a teetering tower of ideas that seems more suited to a full season of television than a single feature film. And it works. Boy howdy, does it work. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Wreck-It Ralph’

Dead politicians tell no tales

Depending on who you ask, American voters elected the wrong people on Tuesday. But, we can all agree that it’s a mistake to elect zombies to higher office, which is exactly what voters in Alabama and Florida did.

Florida elected Democrat incumbent and wormgarden Earl K. Wood as Orange County Tax Collector in Orlando, and Alabama elected Republican challenger and body temperature-impaired Charles Beasley to the Bibb County Commission. Both candidates died weeks before Nov. 6, yet voters did not notice a change in their dead, vacant eyes and funereal, moaning campaign promises.

Way to go, democracy. Get ready for new bills where doctors are replaced with chefs and more brains handouts to the unresuscitable.

I told you that nothing good comes out of Cleveland

Well, with the exception of LeBron James, nothing is of any pertinence when it comes to Cleveland. The Browns? Pff. The Cavaliers? Blah. The Indians? Yeah right. The Rock Hall of Fame? BWA-HAHAHAHAHA.

And obviously, their drivers aren’t too worthy of being known for their good driving habits.

“Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus.”

Yeah, that sounds about right.