Day: November 12, 2012

The McBournie Minute: Is James Bond really a spy?

When I was a kid, there were these things called video rental stores. My family always went to the same one until it closed down because something opened up closer by. One time when we walked in, they had a big display with copies of seemingly every James Bond movie ever made. Looking back on it now, it must have been around when License to Kill was released in theaters in 1989, or when it made it to video.

I had heard of James Bond, and though I was under 10, I realized that these were violent movies I wasn’t allowed to watch, and the covers of the video tapes told me there was something about the scantily-clad women on the covers that I was somehow missing. However, I did think that the title of Octopussy was sort of funny, even if I didn’t really know why.

But even back then, I wondered if James Bond was even a spy in the first place. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Is James Bond really a spy?

Looking at the world through rose-tinted asses

If there’s one aspect of our morning ablutions that bothers the Guys, it’s not being able to wear our deodorant and eat it, too. Not only would our breath smell better, but we assume our farts would eventually smell like the Old Spice Guy. (Those turds? Tickets to that thing you like.)

A new candy, Deo Perfume Candy, operates on a similar principle. The company that makes it says that, once ingested, its active ingredients, rose oil and geraniol, evaporates a rose scent through your skin. You then smell like roses for six hours, which, correct us if we’re wrong, but do not have a very strong smell at all. In fact, you gotta bury your nose deep into the bud just to get a whiff, so apply that to checking your best friends’ pits.

But, hey, at least we’ll be safe from the next bubonic plague, rose-scented B.O. and all.

There’s no screen more HD than your own face

You’ve heard the stories before and they’re true: anyone that buys an iPad not from a well-known retail source is as dumb as the box of rocks that they probably just bought. But fret not!

This line of logic also extends to those that decide to purchase electronics from a person’s car at a gas station.

People, if you do choose to drop a large amount of money in the direction of the back of a person’s car that also doubles as a Radio Shack, at the very least, check to make sure that the item you’re buying is legit. Because there is no mirror app on the App Store that costs as much as you’re probably going to pay.

Owls have bad hair days

By far, owls are the least mentally stable creature in the animal kingdom. We think it’s the staying up all night every night, but who can be sure?

In Washington state, a park trail has been temporarily closed because the owls there are getting aggressive with passersby, it’s not their usual hatred of mankind that’s fueling it, it’s because they are hormonal. Officials say that this time of year, the short amount of daylight messes with the heads of young adult owls, which makes them more aggressive.

Of course the animal apologists blame seasonal affective disorder.