Hormone prevents whore moans

Ladies, if you’re trying to keep that man of yours from straying, then what you need is a little oxy. No, not Oxy Clean. No, not even oxycodone, although the resulting addiction pretty much guarantees his loyalty until he finds a new supplier.

A recent experiment had men inhale oxytocin and then introduced them to an attractive female stranger. Those in “stable, monogamous” relationships stayed an average 6 1/2 inches farther away from an attractive female stranger than their single peers. Not only that, but they also put more space between themselves and pictures of attractive women, too.

The scientists involved believe this is because oxytocin “makes [men] more empathetic, more attuned to social cues, and more inclined to adjust their behavior accordingly.” The Guys, however, think it just improves our eyesight, so we don’t have to get closer for a better look.

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Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of "moron," some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and -- on one occasion -- a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven't heard of it). Really, he's just one of The Guys, y'know?