Day: November 19, 2012

The McBournie Minute: A day for toilets

I don’t have to tell you that we’re heading into a very special time of year. It’s a time when family and friends get together to celebrate, feast and watch football. It’s a very special holiday, that we always celebrate this week, as only we can. We just have to remember to wash our hands.

This holiday is one of my favorites, because, while we think of it as uniquely American, there’s something in it for everyone in the world, and it’s something I remind myself of several times a day. What can I say? I just love this day.

That’s right, everyone, today is World Toilet Day. What did you get me? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: A day for toilets

San Francisco takes a hard look at nudists

He’s what you’d call a reading buff.

The days of constant public nudity in San Francisco may be coming to a close. City officials will vote on an ordinance that bans all public nudity in the city.

Well … not quite all of it. Parents can still raise diaper-less free range preschoolers (provided they pick up after them or chuck it in the neighbor’s yard). Also, the ban would not apply to pride parades, fetish fairs and costumed — or, in this case, costumeless — races.

The ban would really only affect the naturists who congregate daily at Jane Warner Plaza, at the corner of Castro and Market Streets. Shop owners in the traditionally gay Castro district have complained, saying the nudists have gone from the occasional free spirit to a daily flock of dick pigeons, causing people to avoid the district altogether.

If the ban passes, then you can still leave your heart in San Francisco. Just don’t forget your pants.

Dead Island becomes reality

Tangier Island is a small island in the Chesapeake section of Virginia. If you rent a bike, you can peddle around the entire island in approximately an hour. I should know, I’ve been to it as a kid.

It’s been a good 15 years since I’ve been there, but thanks to Hurricane Superstorm Windy and Rainy Event Sandy, I think I’d like to keep that time passed even longer. Why? Because has decided to take the career path of the narrator from Altered Beast and caused the dead to “WISE FROM THEIR GWAVE.”

Erosion has caused graves, caskets, clothing and skeletons to be washed up, turning the beach into a necrophiliac’s most romantic dream site ever. Along with that, the island is losing nearly 20 feet of land a year. No one’s made claims that the dead have begun gnawing on people, but with a shrinking island, would you want to take that chance?

Finally, a leader opens up about the impending alien invasion

The U.S. political climate has its issues, but we’re doing great compared to Russia. Fortunately, one Russian woman has taken it upon herself to form a new party to save her country.

For example, Svetlana Peunova knows that lizard aliens from the planet Nibiru will attack mankind. On top of that, the secret world government has forced Russia to eat genetically modified food that will make everyone sterile. That’s why she formed her own political party recently.

Perhaps now we’ll see something get done in Moscow!