The McBournie Minute: A day for toilets

I don’t have to tell you that we’re heading into a very special time of year. It’s a time when family and friends get together to celebrate, feast and watch football. It’s a very special holiday, that we always celebrate this week, as only we can. We just have to remember to wash our hands.

This holiday is one of my favorites, because, while we think of it as uniquely American, there’s something in it for everyone in the world, and it’s something I remind myself of several times a day. What can I say? I just love this day.

That’s right, everyone, today is World Toilet Day. What did you get me?

World Toilet Day is all about toilet awareness, especially for people who don’t have toilets around the world. Every king should have a throne. According to its web site, the holiday has over 68,000 people involved; which, I am no scientist, but I’m pretty sure that is nearly the entire human population on Earth — that we know of. It’s an important day, because our population grows every year, and with it, the amount of crap we produce, so it’s important to keep everything sanitary.

WTD’s site is an important resource for why toilets are needed so badly, and why we can’t just flush this problem away. For example, did you know that there are 2.5 billion people who don’t have a toilet. On top of that, 1.1 billion people defecate in the open, which to me just seems rude, but I’m not up on foreign customs.

For centuries, man had to squat if he wanted to dump. This was a hassle, because man is the only animal that wears pants, and that can get messy if the aim isn’t just right. Eventually, someone came up with the idea of creating chairs with holes in the middle, which a chamber pot below. This made it easier for everyone to lose a little weight, and man was able to do far more reading than ever before.

Eventually, toilets were invented, though they are now known as Elvis’ Death Traps. Through the wonders of indoor plumbing, we are now able to take the Browns to the Super Bowl and then get on with our day–no digging a hole and filling it back in required! They are also there for us to hug when we’ve overdone it at a party.

So today, of all days, make sure your toilet knows you care. Hug it today!