For those of you who pay attention to sports superfans, and let’s face it, who isn’t? New York Jets crazy man Fireman Ed has decided to hang it up. You know, the same man who leads those ridiculously annoying “J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS!” chants. And I’m all for teaching our youth how to spell, Mr. Ed, but the same word every week? Well, you were overdue a long time ago to get the hell out of New Jersey.
The thing that has bothered me the most about hombre de fuego Ed recently has been his rampant support of all that is wrong with New York, Mark Sanchez. Ed represented every variation of the much-maligned Jets’ QB over the past four seasons, even though his quarterback has gone from rookie, to crappy sophomore, to “OK, I have a handle on the offense, cut me loose. Wait, no, I still suck,” to “I make Tim Tebow look goooooooooood.” And when your number one fan supports your number one reason you lose blindly, well, that means its time to hang up the hat.
Adios, Mr. Ed! We hope your Sanchez jersey bonfire keeps you warm at night. Just don’t put out the fire.
Top five games you can bet on this week
5. New Orleans Saints (+3.5) over Atlanta Falcons
The birds can’t be trusted to cover any line anymore, and the Saints’ offense is just too good.
4. Carolina Panthers (pick’em) over Kansas City Chiefs
Great googily moogily. Who came up with this line?
3. Dallas Cowboys (pick ‘em) over Philadelphia Eagles
I mean, someone has to win. Right?
2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+8) over Denver Broncos
Something very fishy about this line, but take the points.
1. Indianapolis Colts (+4.5) over Detroit Lions
Lock it up.
This week: 3-2
The season: 25-19-1
5. Denver Broncos (8-3)
Peyton Manning has the orange horses looking like the only legitimate threat to take down New England come playoff time.
4. Baltimore Ravens (9-2)
Look for this team to struggle down the stretch. They’re not going to get a more than fortunate spot against every team they have a Fourth down and 30 on.
3. Atlanta Falcons (10-1)
All this team talks about is getting no respect. Well, that’s what happens when you only beat the Bucs by one.
2. Houston Texans (9-2)
Not even Ndamukhong Suh’s nut kicks can stop this team.
1. New England Patriots (8-3)
Tom Brady and Co. are turning up the heat with 49.5 points per contest in their last three.