Day: December 5, 2012

Take it from Snee: Wherever Karl may rove

Rove invented duckface, and yet people still valued his opinion … until today.

The 2012 election was a learning experience for a lot of people. Some learned that you can’t “unskew” polls without, you know, actually conducting polls. Others learned that, while corporations may indeed meet some of the basic conditions of being people,* they still only get one vote, no matter how the CEO pays to get in on the action.

And then there’s Fox News, which finally learned that, unless you’re the weatherman, the news shouldn’t try to predict the future … Or at least that they shouldn’t pay Karl Rove and Dick Morris to try their hands at it anymore.  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Wherever Karl may rove

French sperm lacks certain … je ne sais quoi

Former French president Nicolas Sarkozy knows a thing or two about French sperm being just good enough.

The study of 26,600 French guys’ sperm has French scientists concerned. They found that Le Guys‘ sperm count was on average 32.3 percent lower per millilitre than it was in 1989. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, there was 33.4 percent less normal-shaped sperm, which means that what French men have left is just a little bit freakier.

But, critics of the paper say it’s not really a fair comparison because the ’89 Chateau du Coq really was an extraordinary vintage.

Bonus: The link is to BBC News, so you know they were tickled by this announcement.

What if the enemy of my enemy is another one of my enemies?

We’ve got good news and we’ve got bad news. Because we’re sadistic and enjoy leaving you in pain, we’ll start with the good news to throw you off guard.

The good news: The U.S. Navy is slowly doing away with its program training dolphins and sea lions in “keeping ports safe” for American ships at home and abroad. We’ve covered this before. (Keep in mind, there are military-trained dolphins that have gone rogue.) So, hooray for no more commando dolphins!

The bad news: Aside from the fact that our country is now going to be besieged with unknown numbers of veteran sea creatures begging for change (you know the VA’s not going to help them), it turns out their replacements will be robots. (Ask the American factory worker how it feels, Flipper!) Effectively, the Navy is replacing one enemy of mankind with another.