Day: December 10, 2012

The McBournie Minute: Killer app

Apple’s iPhone changed the cell phone game several years ago, but now competitors have caught up, and rather than innovating, the phone seems to be content just being the same as it was with a few minor tweaks. This may keep the faithful hanging on, but it doesn’t do much to excite potential customers.

In a market that is flooded with devices that get better and better, and do more and more, Apple has once again found a way to separate itself from the pack. They have decided to aim themselves at a niche group, but one that is likely growing all the time: the thrill-seekers.

Introducing the iPhone 5, the first smart phone that could kill you. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Killer app

Drink like a whale

If you’ve ever seen a live whale or dolphin, there’s no doubt you’ve thought to yourself, “I wonder how that would taste in a drink?” You could have found out the answer in England, but no longer.

Police raided a London bar for serving a drink with “whaleskin infusion” that it called the Moby Dick. It’s illegal to sell whale meat in the European Union, as it is nearly all over the world, but does that really mean that you can’t have whale-flavored booze? Do we really consider bacon vodka actual bacon?

If so, we’ve got an idea for breakfast tomorrow.

American lifestyle under attack

In the War on Animals, we know that the outdoors are dangerous. But, man has always held the upper hand because that upper hand is holding money. So long as our economy remains strong, we will be able to stay inside our homes where animals can’t get in. (Unless they’re being put in the freezer. Then they may come indoors in bulk.)

But, what if animals destroy our economy?

That’s exactly what they’re trying to do, whether it’s through bears in a mall or now a monkey at IKEA. The bear attacks were unsophisticated attempts to scare shoppers out of supporting our economy. But, a monkey making a mockery out of our most beloved shopping ritual: arguing with spouses at America’s greatest Swedish store while wearing a trendy coat? Who wouldn’t look at one of our closest relatives and wonder, “Is that what I look like?”

Humans, do not allow let animals make monkeys out of us. Buying furniture that we build ourselves is still very respectable and vital defense spending.

Anything to get boys in aprons

A New Jersey teenager has decided that the time for equality is now. No longer will she suffer the slings of a gender-oppressed society! No more shall she have the characteristics of a gender heaped upon her!

As such, she’s set up a petition to have a gender-neutral Easy Bake Oven created by Hasbro.

Why? Because she doesn’t want to buy a pink or purple Oven for her 4-year-old brother. Meanwhile, the girl’s supporter, celebrity chef Bobby Flay, has managed to throw awash the entire basis for the petition:

‘If that’s what he wants, why not get it for him? I mean, who cares what color it is?’ he said.