With another week and another NFL tragedy, the league is faced with a problem, not an epidemic, that it needs to address. Too many times we have to hear and read about professional athletes getting hit with the three letters that are more famous than the ones on the shield, DUI. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Get a cab
Day: December 11, 2012
Murder most immoral
Speaking at a Princeton seminar on Monday, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia argued that every state should have the right to make laws against behavior that its electorate deems immoral — like homosexuality. And to make his point, he made a very close, relevant comparison: murder.
Now, some of you out there might find that comparison appalling, but when you really think about it, how different is homosexuality from homicide? Same first three letters, for one. Also, one is a non-consensual act of physical intimacy between a man and the person he’s murdering, while the other one is icky in a buttsex sort of way.
So, aren’t we glad that Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act are on the high court’s 2013 docket?
Importing anything with ‘gun’ in its name is probably a bad idea
Police in New York recently arrested a man at JFK airport. Oooh! Was he a terrorist? Probably not. Was he a smuggler? Yes. Oooh! What was he smuggling, something exotic, like, a thousand speckled ostrich eggs, two hundred live Komodo Dragons or custom-made AK-47’s with grenade launcher attachments? Nope.
Just stun guns. Twenty-six stun guns.
Which isn’t big, except stun guns are illegal in New York. Oops. At least they weren’t all shoved into condoms like some smuggled objects (cocaine emus, we’re looking at you).
Porting: The least-efficient way to drink
Perhaps you’ve heard about “milking,” the latest Internet video trend. People record dumping an entire gallon of milk on themselves. Hilarious! But now, there’s a counter-trend: porting.
Students at Durham University in England, who apparently have money to burn on white dress shirts and fancy wine, have been posting videos of online pouring entire bottles of port wine on themselves in public.
Back in our day, that was considered a party foul.