Man buys expensive booze, doesn’t offer us any

There are some things in life that we at SG HQ will just never have. A Ford GT prototype, the ability to pee standing up, a Double-Double Animal style, a rock opera starring Ice T, even our very own continent — sadly all are out of our reach. We just can’t reach that echelon of monetary status.

That said, we are here on our hands and knees, begging for a sip of Lyle Shellenberg’s latest purchase: a 50 year old bottle of scotch. We consider ourselves amateur alcohol connoisseurs and it would only make our destiny if we were to have a glass of that sweet, sweet liquid. Please, Mister Shellenberg, make our dream come true.

Hey, it’s not like we’re asking for a sixer of Pabst. We’ve got class.