MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’

Before we begin, let’s get the disclaimer out of the way. This is a review of the movie The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and if you haven’t seen it yet and somehow managed to not know the details of a movie based on a book originally published in 1937 which has sold as many as 100 million copies, you should be forewarned that spoilers may be involved.

I won’t say that I’m a lifelong fan of The Lord of the Rings series. My first experience with them were the Ralph Bakshi animated versions of The Hobbit and Return of the King (for those who’ve seen them, you know the pain I speak of). After that, it was a long time before I even thought of them, certainly not until Peter Jackson brought out the The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, a series of movies that I find beautiful and enthralling, my personal favorite being The Two Towers.

With all that stated, I braved the crowds at the theater this week and settled back to take in the spectacle. As with the previous outings, it was a spectacular epic of technical achievement. There were sweeping landscapes, wonderful scenery, great music and special effects to take your breath away. It’s just not great. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’

Bet you can’t drink more than one

"I drink your milkshake! I drink it ... ugh. So full ... Maybe lost some self-respect there, too."
I drink your milkshake! I drink it … ugh. So full. Maybe lost some self-respect there, too.”

The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a nonprofit organization that promotes nutrition and health and food safety, has just bestowed one of its highest honors on Johnny Rockets. The ’50s diner-themed fast food restaurant won the “Xtreme Eating Award” for their Big Apple Shake, which consists of a slice of apple pie blended into a milk shake. The shake alone contains a 1,140 calories, which is over half of the daily calories a human needs. Basically, we don’t suggest shaking or even blinking too quickly after drinking one.

Other honorees include a pasta dish from the Cheesecake Factory that has as many calories as a 12-piece bucket of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken and a peanut butter smoothie from Smoothie King that contains an entire day’s calorie count, yet is billed as a health drink.

These food troughs won’t be able to rest on their laurels for next year, though: the Guys have developed a ball of Baconnaise filled with cigarette butts and bullets.

Senator to take B-movie action hero role in real life

If you’ve ever wondered, we’ll reveal it to you: the political affiliation of SeriouslyGuys is quasidemoderepubliraptorjesucratic. That said, if we ever move to Florida (shudder), then we resolve to always vote for Bill Nelson.

Bill Nelson, senator for Florida, began the process for banning pythons. Not one to just sit back and wait for legislation to take place, Nelson will take a very literal part in hunting the snakes down.

In a world, come Saturday, the Florida Everglades will see a little more congressional action, when Senator Bill Nelson joins a scientist and conservation employee to hunt down pythons. The invasive constrictors are opposing bills and he’s the veto-er: of their life.

Kill a camel, save the world

Florida may have a python problem, but Australia has it worse. They are overrun with camels and their farts. It may sound like a strange problem, it may also sound strange that there are camels in Australia in the first place.

Let’s back up. Camels were introduced to the island nation back in 1840, likely by some Egyptian ship captain who lost a bet. Today, there are roughly 750,000 roaming around, and that should double in a decade. Plus, they are quite flatulent. The problem is that those camel farts are hurting the atmosphere.

To deal with the problem, a wildlife consultant group proposed giving carbon credits for killing camels, since it would curb emissions. It was voted down by a government committee.

This is one of the few times The Guys will side with the environmental people.