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Direct-to-DVD action movie market to take a critical hit

Fear criminals, you shall not triumph, as the greatest law-abiding celebrity deputy has come back to work. That’s right, Steven Seagal is back on the scene.

Undersheriff Eddie Lerma of Doña Ana County in New Mexico has deputized the actor for training purposes regarding border issues. It would behoove the criminal aspect of the county to:

  1. Find out if there are any blues houses nearby, and if so, destroy.
  2. Quickly locate if any tanks are nearby.

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