Day: February 4, 2013

Dubai landsharks excited about sexy new alias

Nothing says "discrete" like deploying a delivery team to your door.
Nothing says “discreet” like deploying a delivery team to your door.

Durex, the Pepsi of condoms, has a plan to directly compete with the Trojan Man: by actually delivering prophylactics to your door, not just pretending like in Trojan ads. They’ve launched a delivery service in Dubai, where it’s easy to get laid but hard to buy condoms because of the rest of the United Arab Emirates’ conservative culture.

An app called SOS Condoms transmits your GPS location to the delivery service, which a “discreet and professional delivery team” uses to deliver a dozen condoms between 4 pm and 4 am for $15 anywhere in Dubai. Those who prefer to make love during the day, however, will be punished with babies and VD.

And if you’re jealous of Dubai and their Durex deliveries, nominate your city today to become the next SOS Condom recipients!

Kill trees dead with the chainsaw slingshot

When the Germans develop new weapons, it’s usually bad for France and most of the civilized world. That’s why we hate to start out your week like this. Unfortunately, America has fallen behind in the great chainsaw race.

We may have the most technically-advanced military the world has ever seen, but Germany has the chainsaw slingshot, thanks to Joerg Sprave, who is likely a hobbyist you don’t want to cross. Sprave has built a slingshot, which looks more like a bazooka, out of wood, and it shoots chainsaw-tipped missiles.

This has to be a violation of a treaty.