For those who plan to watch the 55th Annual Grammy Awards, but worry about how the artists being honored on it will offend your sensibilities, don’t you fret: CBS has got this s**t covered. And by s**t, we mean “buttock crack” and “female breast nipples.”
The broadcasting company distributed a memo to all invited attendees, advising them to keep their “buttocks and female breasts [...] adequately covered.” This is best accomplished by eschewing “thong-type dresses” and outfits with “bare sides or under curvature of the breasts.” (We’re still talking about female breasts, right? Can Diddy still wear a plunging neckline?)
Viewers will have to settle for being offended by whatever the attendees say in acceptance speeches and the lyrics of their songs, instead. You know, because music is terrible now, but god forbid you find something better to watch than an awards show.