Spider raaaaaaain

No, it’s not an update to a nearly six year old YouTube video. It’s worse. Much worse. Friends, this is the nightmare scenario.

Spiders, thanks to a web, have taken to the sky above Santo Antônio da Platina, a town in Brazil. It is now raining spiders upon their innocent heads. The beasts range from the size of a pencil eraser to much, much bigger, as their maximum size is unknown. Thanks a lot, Obama scientists.

There’s only one surefire solution to this problem. We must utilize the cleansing power of fire and burn it all. It’s the only way to be safe.