Someone stole the cookies from the cookie jar

And by “cookie jar,” we mean “large and unmarked warehouse.”

A robber may have thought him or herself quite the genius sometime before genius when a sugary treasure trove was stumbled upon: cookies. But not just any cookies, Girl Scout cookies! Nearly $19,000 worth of them!

But ah-ha, my friend, not so much luck was had that day. Yes, nearly $19,000 worth of Girl Scout cookies were taken from a warehouse in Spartanburg, but the joke is ultimately on the robber: the brigand managed to make off with cookies of the Shortbread and (ugh) Thin Mint (ugh) varieties.

Allow us to evangelize for a second here: Thin Mints are awful! The marriage of chocolate and mint is both an abomination and a sin before God and man! It’s Adam and (St/)Eve, not Choco and Mint! Blegh!

As you can see, the robber clearly only 50 percent ahead. Have fun with that, sucker.

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