| Posted in Headline of the Day, War on Animals

Bug spray won’t cut it in Florida this year

If you live in Florida, you may want to consider moving before the summer comes. We’re sure it’s a very nice place and all that, but it’s about to get flat-out terrifying.

It’s no secret that Florida is one big swamp, and that mosquitoes love swamps, so naturally, the bugs are all over the state. But now, according to this headline, scientists are expecting a “Large, aggressive mosquito.” It’s likely going to be from the Psorophora ciliata species, which sounds like something you shouldn’t google at work.

The article is short on details, and we don’t want to speculate, but it probably means that the state will be terrorized by a single mutant mosquito, roughly the size of a house, and the demeanor of grizzly bear.

Of course, if you want to hunt this mega-mosquito, we’ll write songs about you when you bring us its head.

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