Today is International Women’s Day, which I’m sure I didn’t need to remind you. I know you’ve spent weeks planning your IWD festivities. In fact, I’d be shocked if you’re not hammered right now. Is this a new holiday? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it. I guess you’re supposed to celebrate it by refraining from sexist comments, or stop and think before calling someone the B word. The good news is that the other 364 days of the year are still Internationals Men’s Day. If you were busy nervously interviewing Mila Kunis this week, odds are you missed it.
Because terrorists don’t drink
The TSA announced this week that it will loosen some of its rules on what passengers can take in their carry-on bags when they fly. For the first time since the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, passengers can bring their baseball bats and golf clubs with them, which will undoubtedly be a praised by the Airborne Sportsmen Association. Also allowed are knives with blades less than two inches long. This means that you can bring your corkscrew with you. It’s only a matter of time before the TSA relaxes on liquids rules and lets you bring your wine, too.
Droning on and on
As a dud of a snowstorm circled Washington, D.C. this week, Sen. Rand Paul opted for an old-school filibuster of the confirmation of John Brennan as CIA director, because the Obama administration didn’t expressly say that it wouldn’t use drones to kill Americans. Despite it being completely lawful for the military to kill anyone deemed an enemy combatant, inside the U.S. or out, Paul rambled for 13 hours about how flying robots were coming to kill us all. After the senator eventually lifted his block on Brennan’s nomination, the drone circling the Capitol was called off.
And they all wear high school rings
With Pope Benedict XVI out of power, the College of Cardinals has to choose his successor. This week they met as a sort of social gathering, and announced that they will begin the papal conclave next Tuesday. Like any college party, and in accordance with Vatican law, it’s expected that the leader of the group will the one who can do the longest keg stand.