What the smurf ‘smurfing’ means

"We cook my way this time, Jesse Smurf. Or I walk."
“We cook my way this time, Jesse Smurf. Or I walk.”

At long last — after 55 smurfing years of Smurf comics, cartoons and dolls — we finally know what the smurf those smurfing Smurfs were smurfing about.

Thanks to a recent anti-meth campaign in Missouri, we’ve learned that “smurfing” means “to buy the legal limit of pseudoephedrine-based products and sell them to meth cookers.”

‘With the anti-smurfing campaign, Missouri leaders are coming together … to send an unmistakable message: If you’re buying this product for a meth cook, you are committing a serious criminal offense and could end up behind bars,’ [Missouri Attorney General Chris] Koster said.

And we all know what happens next after locking Smurfs up behind bars: they’re melted into gold for our privatized prison system. Things are looking up for Warden Gargamel, indeed. But they’re also looking much, much darker for Smurfette, who’s doing smurf-knows-what for her meth.

Published by

Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of “moron,” some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and — on one occasion — a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven’t heard of it). Really, he’s just one of The Guys, y’know?

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