Shorter wings, harder targets

Thanks to selective breeding, longer winged swallows have also evolved wingspan envy.
Thanks to selective breeding, longer winged swallows have also evolved wingspan envy.

Gun enthusiasts like to pretend they’re the only ones on the front lines of the War on Animals, but let’s not short change the over 200 million motorized warriors who run over an estimated 80 million birds a year.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to kill a flying animal with a grounded vehicle? Based on those previously stated numbers, let’s just say that a bird in the fender is worth at least 10 in the bush.

But it’s about to get even harder, warriors. The birds are learning and roadside units have evolved shorter wings for quicker vertical takeoffs and improved maneuverability. It’s time to write your congressperson today and ask for — nay, demand — the legalization of DWSS, or driving while skeet shooting.

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Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of “moron,” some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and — on one occasion — a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven’t heard of it). Really, he’s just one of The Guys, y’know?

One thought on “Shorter wings, harder targets”

  1. There are shallow rollers, and there are deep rollers. You can’t breed two deep rollers … or their young, their offspring, will roll all the way down … hit and die. Agent Starling is a deep roller. Let us hope one of her parents was not.

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