Day: May 1, 2013

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, The Guys don’t pick our noses. We’re just putting that out there because you never know when you might have to start dating again. (Usually right after publishing either of the two preceding sentences.)

Our kids, however, do, and who knows where they pick these things up from, right? (Sorry, Madison. We love you very much, but you have your entire life to rebuild your reputation, whereas Your Daddies have to strike when the iron’s hot and the press is paying attention to us.)

But, what’s so bad about it anyway? Huh? Who are we to judge people (who are not us) who pick their noses and eat their gainfully acquired boogers? What if each tiny load-bearing fingerprobe contributes to our immune system like a vaccination-flavored Gushers fruit snack? What if we (including us, The Guys) are the weird ones for not eating our boogers?

… And that’s what you sound like, Biochemist Scott Napper of the University of Saskatchewan.

Tell us if you’ve heard this story before: man walks into a carnival, thinks he’s pretty awesome at a game, ends up losing. He then comes back, tries numerous times to prove that he can beat the game, still loses. It’s a normal story that’s been told many times over.

Well, let’s add in some extra bits: Henry Gribbohm walked into a carnival, thought he was pretty good at the game Tubs of Fun and lost. He then went home, came back with his life’s savings ($2,600), tried numerous times to prove that he could beat the game and still lost … to the tune of $2,600.

On the plus side, the carnival showed some pity on him. Oh sure, he was given back $600 , and the carny has gone missing, but the real win for Gribbohm was that he was given a giant stuffed banana dressed like a Rastafarian. So, really, how can Gribbohm not be a winner?

Central Park is being invaded, and the people of New York are fighting back.

The northern snakehead is a nasty fish. It’s got teeth, it can live out of water for days, and um, has the head of a snake. It’s native to Asia, but it’s invading U.S. waters. This threat to all that is good and American was spotted in one of the ponds in New York’s Central Park, so the state is calling open season on the bastards.

The city will fight back. It is resilient. It will seek out and conquer this enemy. One thing is for certain, it will not be found in the Hudson or East rivers, unless it mutates or something.