Hungry, hungry shoppers

Old research conducted by a coalition of judgmental widows theorizes that shopping for groceries while hungry leads to a cart full of bad decisions. New, actual research confirms this, and furthermore, hungry shopping will ruin your entire damn week.

Hungry shoppers followed around by researchers from Cornell University bought 23 percent more junk food than shoppers who ate within five hours of going to the grocery store. Their hunger led them to choose quicker, easier food options (hence: junk food) because cooking would take for-eeeeveeeeeeer by the time they got home.

"'Bake for 10 minutes?!' I could be dead by then!"
“‘Bake for 10 minutes?!’ I could be dead by then!”

Unfortunately, that also meant they brought home 23 percent more junk food home for the rest of the week. Because when life gives you Cool Ranch Doritos, you make … well, now you see the problem.

So, you win this round, Old Wives. But, if you’re nervous about some of your other ideas, then that’s what happens when you make assumptions without documenting supporting evidence.

Published by

Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of “moron,” some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and — on one occasion — a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven’t heard of it). Really, he’s just one of The Guys, y’know?