Day: May 8, 2013

Oh, hello there. I didn’t see you come to this Web site since that’s not really a thing you can see … or even hear since the dial-up days. Also, because I’m busy at work in my lair.

Why do I have a lair? Well, when I’m not writing fart jokes or pretending to be a doctor, I have a day job. And when I’m not at that day job, I put on a cowl and practice arch-evil. I guess you could say I’m a part-time villain.

I’d like to say that I’m pretty good at villainy — for an amateur, that is. But, no matter how many shrink rays I invent or monologues I write, I’ll never be able to quit my day and blogging jobs because I’m hopelessly outmatched by the Republican party.

Yes, I mean that the Republican party (or GOP) are twice the villains I could ever hope to be. And I don’t mean that because I’m a registered Democrat. On the contrary, as a practicing villain who aspires to one day destroy the world, I consider it my duty to vote Republican as often as possible. Here’s why: Continue reading Take it from Snee: Razing Hope

There are women out there who actively say that beards are sexy. Everyone knows at least one who agrees with this. We try to nod politely, and remind ourselves that there are all sorts of weird fetishes out there. Some women like a guy wearing pubic hair on his face.

But according to one study, it’s not an isolated thing. The ladies like beards.

According to one study out of Australia (so take it with a grain of salt), women see men with beards or heavy stubble as healthier, more attractive and better at parenting. The theory here is that women look for manly men to impregnate them, because they see them as good fathers.

In other words, if you want to stay single, fellas, break out the razors.

(via Brian C.)

We told you the story of Henry Gribbohm.

Henry Gribbohm says he’s not nearly as dumb of a person as you may think, even if you think that because he paid nearly two grand for an X-box Kinect. Even though he had to get help from an internet humor website in order to be back to square one, life savings-wise.

Really?

105-year-old Pearl Cantrell of Richland, Texas believes that there is only one reason she still wakes up every morning, and that reason is bacon. Cantrell credits her long life to eating bacon every day, noting, “I don’t feel as old as I am, that’s all I can say.”

This should settle our long-running philosophical debate over whether a longer, baconless life is worth living. Clearly, the answer is no — for, without bacon, what is there to live for?