Day: May 13, 2013

We’re just days away from a terrible invasion. Underground cells will rise up and begin their terror on us. It’s going to be a gruesome summer, and there’s nothing the government can do about it. For 17 years, cicadas have been hidden underground, hibernating, growing and waiting for their chance to take over the East Coast.

They’re preparing to rise up once again this summer. Once the ground temperature reaches the right level, these fat insects are going to crawl out of their holes and start annoying the hell out of everyone with their loud chirps. It’s going to be an unpleasant summer, unless you’re a windshield washer.

But did you know that you can eat cicadas? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: A feast emerges

FOX, you know, that network that hasn’t been able to produce a hit show that doesn’t involve a cartoon since 2003, has decided to say “#%£@ it.” FOX is bringing back your favorite man to bring down a Christmas tree. Kiefer Sutherland, the man who has kept Jim Beam afloat, will be returning as Jack Bauer in “24.”

We know, we’re just like most of you, we didn’t care either.

Microsoft corporate vice president of corporate communications (he’s really corporate, you guys), Frank X. Shaw takes an exception to some of your negative critiques of Windows 8.

In this world where everyone is a publisher, there is a trend to the extreme — where those who want to stand out opt for sensationalism and hyperbole over nuanced analysis. In this world where page views are currency, heat is often more valued than light. Stark black-and-white caricatures are sometimes more valued than shades-of-gray reality.

So let’s pause for a moment and consider the center. In the center, selling 100 million copies of a product is a good thing. In the center, listening to feedback and improving a product is a good thing.

Yeah, c’mon, dicks. Windows 8 has sold a lot of copies — many of which were to people who bought new computers without an option for Windows 7 — so it can’t be that bad. After all, this is another version of the same product line that brought us Windows 98, ME and Vista.

Sometimes, you have to recognize that, for every working version of the world’s most popular operating system, you have to fund all the crappy ones on the way to get it. It’s called an installment plan. So, take it down a notch, Internet jerks!

The Guys are officially bored with flying cars. Oh, sure, the last time we wrote about the Terrafugia Transition, we seemed a bit excited about it. In fact, even now, Terrafugia is moving to see just how feasible a project could be. In layman’s terms, that’s see just how possible it is to move something from “hobby” to “business.”

Our excitement was over a year ago. It’s 2013. It’s the future. Where are our damn jetpacks? The Jetsons lied to us.

It’s Monday morning, and you’re probably not thinking about beer right now. Then again, if you read this blog regularly, maybe you already have a beer in hand. One brewery in Scotland wants you to start off your day with a brew.

Black Isle Brewery wants its beer to be part of your complete breakfast. Its Cold Turkey Breakfast Beer weighs in at just 2.8% alcohol by volume, which is pretty much like having half a Budweiser or whatever your favorite crappy beer is. It’s got some fruit and coffee hints to it, so it will really feel like you’re having breakfast.

If only they could invent the perfect brunch beer.