Day: May 15, 2013

When the Insane Clown Posse reemerged a couple of years ago back into relevance with their music video, “Miracles,” they pondered everyday miracles like “Magnets/how do they even work?” Everyone, of course, laughed, because the answer to how magnets work is documented in books or, if your bookshelves are doused in Faygo, a Wikipedia search away.

What a pair of illiterate morons, right? I mean, who treats something that has been documented in written word for some time now like it’s an unsolvable, unknowable mystery?

That would be pretty much everyone writing Game of Thrones recaps.

Does that seem harsh? Hit the jump to find out exactly why your Monday morning link bait is terrible, and you’re terrible (with notable exceptions) for writing it.

Continue reading Take it from Snee: Your ‘Game of Thrones’ recap sucks

Let’s say you choose to do something distasteful on a daily basis on the condition that you’re paid for it. Maybe you didn’t plan on cleaning porta-johns, but, hey, the money’s good. Or maybe you’re writing copy for a company you don’t particularly like, say a weapons manufacturer, but it beats suckin’ dicks for a living, right?

It’s not like you’re a prostitute, even though the only difference between you is whether you take a shower every hour (or choose not to when you should). The mere implication that you accept money like a whore is insulting, right?

That’s what LinkedIn says, anyway, about actual sex workers. They’re not allowed to use the online spam service to network in their chosen career field. Of course, LinkedIn still offers the option to endorse other users for “prostitution,” so they can’t be t–

… You just left this page to endorse all your former bosses and coworkers for “prostitution,” didn’t you?

[Special thanks to Anthony S.]

We’ve made it no big shock that we at SeriouslyGuys don’t exactly care much for hipsters. They’re dirty, pretentious and willingly have bad haircuts. The Guys are more than capable of taking care of two of those characteristics on own power, thankyouverymuch.

Nonetheless, beer can unite the masses. Expensive is obviously the best. Cheap beer, not as much. But what happens when you’re given expensive beer for a cheap price? Say, at the price of free, or at least just about?

Okay hipsters, you win this round.

If you’ve ever wished Texas wasn’t part of the United States, you’re not alone, but probably not for the reason you’re thinking of. Texas has recently developed a fetish for secessionist fiction. People are writing books about Texas leaving the modern-day union because the federal government is too oppressive.

Strangely enough, the books seem to be written by conservatives, about Texans who are sick of a liberal administration, so they decide to call it quits. But the authors totally don’t support secession, guys. This is totally different. It’s about a once-independent state’s free spirit.

Sure, Texas was an independent republic in before joining the Union in 1845, but it wasn’t the first. Vermont was its own country from 1777 to until it became part of the U.S. in 1791. It seems Texas is behind the times again. Secessionist fiction? That’s so 1987.