Say it isn’t so. Is Sacha Baron Cohen, a.k.a. Ali G, Borat and Bruno, actually starring in a movie with a semi-coherent plot? Seems like it. There’s not a mock-doc, improvised, caught-on-the-fly, “gotcha!” moment in all of The Dictator. The film zigs and zags through its scant 84 minutes as if running wild to save its crazy ass. Oddly enough, this is a good thing. Even with a blueprint to follow, the Cambridge-educated Baron Cohen is always best when he jumps the fences of comedy. That’s why The Dictator leaves you laughing helplessly. It starts at outrageous and rockets on from there. Screw the occasional sputter. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Dictator’
Day: May 23, 2013
The wonderful thing about tigers is that tigers are full of wonderful things
Veterinarians in Clearwater, Florida performed an emergency hairballectomy on Ty, a 400-pound tiger from Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation Inc. They successfully removed an unhackable 4-pound hairball the size of a basketball.
This is now officially the largest recorded orange pussy hairball, unseating the former champion: the combined stomach contents of the cast from the adult film Fire Crotches! Redheads Heat It Up.
We understand that, as sorta-doctors (not people-doctors), veterinarians have taken an oath to treat our foes in the War on Animals. But, could they at least make sure that’s all tiger hair in Ty’s furball? When they sliced him open, how many Opie impersonators slid out of him like on the dock in Jaws?
Next week on Ghost Maury Povich …
Who here’s tired of all of the Ghost-[whatever] shows that basic cable is littered with? Ghost-Houses, Ghost-Adventures, Ghost-Adventurers, Ghost-Towns, Ghost-Dad — they’re all useless and unneeded. And the actual “ghost-hunters?” Nothing more than night-vision filter versions of John Edward.
Apparently, Tasmania already got the news and had their “ghost-hunters” take another route. Why look for spectral ooze when you might stumble upon ooze of a different, more adulterous sort?
(Courtesy of James B.)
Your cat is making you sober
Seldom do the War on Animals and Booze News meet, but dear reader, you’re in luck today.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Americans on average spend more on their pets than they do on alcohol. We know what you’re thinking: this is another thing wrong with the country. It is, but not for the reason you’re thinking of.
We spend more on pets because the animals we keep have become needy little fur balls intent on driving us bankrupt, so that their wild kin can wipe us out. It also means that we’re doing a good job of consuming the alcohol that we make, keeping supply and demand in check. So sit back, have a drink, and ignore your pets.