Day: June 10, 2013

I never thought I’d come to bash the actors I liked so much in college. I have a long history of bashing Will Ferrell for getting progressively worse, and also the evil plot to ruin the legacy of Anchorman for me by making a sequel. Now, sadly, I have to turn my sights on Vince Vaughn.

He’s a tall guy, like myself, who serves as a cautionary tale for what could happen if you give up sleeping and start eating fried chicken full-time instead. But that’s just fine. He still seems like a good guy. So why is it when he teamed up with Owen Wilson for the first time since Wedding Crashers, it bombed in the box office?

Internship was a failure for many reasons. I haven’t seen it, but I can tell you why it failed and why I couldn’t get excited for it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: I’ve seen this before

Researchers followed 165 designated drivers home from the bar — for science purposes, mind you — and found that 40 percent consumed some alcohol before driving their friends home. One-fifth (as opposed to a handle) blew a 0.05 percent BAC, which is the percentage where impairment and karaoke begins.

The DDs were, however, still below the legal limit of 0.08 … for now. Because drivers begin to show signs of impairment at 0.05, federal accident investigators have recommended that states lower their drunk driving limits to that level. Over 100 countries have already started this and found a significant reduction in highway fatalities and volume in IHOPs after 10pm.

Of course, none of this would be an issue if more people would (a) watch baseball to learn what “designated” means and (b) keep those puritans from turning the American League into the National League by eliminating the DH rule.

“Clever girl.”

These famous last words were uttered by the great warrior, Robert Muldoon, right before he was slit from ear to ear (and cheeks to cheeks) by the monstrous velociraptor. We might have to start applying that to another enemy in our war.

Thanks to footage by a Canadian couple, we know that bears can now open doors. But not just any doors: the doors of our vehicles. No longer will we be able to run into our cars, locking ourselves away from the danger of the beasts, as the bears are now coming after our door handles.

If this revelation doesn’t bring about the onset of thumbprint door handles for all cars, then The Guys don’t know what will.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be in a coma, or just wanted a solid reason to not be part of the world for a while? Soy sauce could be your solution.

A 19-year-old Virginia man drank a quart of soy sauce on a dare. Because of all of the salt suddenly put into his body, he fell into a coma. Doctors who reported the incident said it’s the first time that anyone has had so much salt in their bloodstream and survived without any lasting neurological effects.

#YOLO.