Fellipe Soliz: Potential Gotham City villain?

Fellipe Soliz claims that he and his family were having a normal Sunday evening when out of nowhere, bats swarmed his living room. Baby bats, old bats, normal bats, all kinds of flying rodents! Normally we’d be on the side of poor Mr. Soliz, but …

… there’s a problem. Ambushing enemies with a plethora of bats is a familiar tactic of one of The Guys’ heroes, Batman. Not only does he put our enemies to use in the fight for justice, but in doing so, he disorients the bats. Ingenious! As such, this “attack” by the bats sure seems awfully familiar.

Now, we’re not at all saying that Soliz is a criminal at any level, certainly not. We’re just saying this: Calendar Man is still out there.

A cure for the common you

"Awww ..."
“Awww …”

You’ve got a pretty good head on your shoulders. But, let’s face it, everything below ranges from “eh,” to “ew,” to “awww” and back to “ew” again. You could end up spending hundreds of thousands of dollars addressing each and every problem (or, if truly desperate, dieting and exercising). Or, you can cure your entire body in one simple procedure.

Italian scientist — which is like a normal scientist except they talk with their hands more — Sergio Canavero believes that he has solved the main obstacle to head transplants: spinal cord fusion.

Let’s say your head is your hard drive. But you can’t just set that on top of your case and expect everything to work. You have to plug it into the motherboard correctly so that your already installed operating system can hear, see and control your new computer.

"Four more years! Four more years!"
“Four more years! Four more years!”

Canavero’s GEMINI procedure, though, would effectively allow you to do just that. By cooling the heads, cutting with a single clean cut through both necks and then reattaching within an hour, the spinal cords should heal together quick enough with exposure to polyethylene glycol.

While he plans to use the procedure to eventually cure people suffering from bodily degenerative diseases like muscular dystrophy, cancer or bacne, he does worry that others might exploit the procedure to live forever.

So, if you don’t want to be harvested by future rich people, make your body as undesirable as you can now, before it’s too late. Or become the disappointing new Ted Williams. It can’t be any worse than the current new Ted Williams.

They can do something other than just hang there

They get sweaty, they produce testosterone, they make your kids and mostly you just try to make it through the day without getting them hit. But really, are your testicles really good for anything?

Turns out, yes. According to a study published this week there are taste receptors in both your berries. In fact, they have the ability to taste sweet and umami, which is probably something other than sweet. Luckily, they can’t taste salty, to you anyway.

But don’t worry, whether you have testicles or not, you’ve got taste receptors on parts of your body that aren’t your mouth. You’ve got them on your anus, in your stomach, lungs, pancreas, intestines and even your brain.