Eat My Sports: Dwightmare, over

From the moment Dwight Howard started waffling in Orlando about two years ago we all started getting sick of this drama. Where will he end up? It has to be Los Angeles, right? Why doesn’t he do those McDonald’s commercials where he steals kids’ french fries anymore?

Now, Howard, and all of his 17 points and 12 rebounds per game, have landed in Houston with Jeremy Lin and James Harden, where this will approximate zero championships as long as LeBron James’ talents are in South Beach, and the Spurs, Clippers, Grizzlies and Thunder are all still the Spurs, Clippers, Grizzlies and Thunder.

To say that the Rockets overpaid for a player who peaked four years ago is an understatement. The NBA is not a defensive league anymore. Championships are won by teams and players who have a go to move, or you can count on in the clutch. The only thing you can count on Howard for is indecisiveness. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Dwightmare, over

Live from New York: your child’s a moron!

"Hey, Paul! I swallowed my gum, so for the next seven years, we can watch live footage from my colon."
“Hey, Paul! I swallowed my gum, so for the next seven years, we can watch live footage from my colon.”

New research from University College London indicates that kids who stay up late watch more television and are more likely to fail reading and math. They found a decline in test performance in those staying up past 9 pm. And the more irregular their sleep schedule, the worse their overall performance got.

So, now we know why late night television gets dumber and dumber the longer hosts stick around.

Everyone celebrates the 4th differently

If you’re thinking about going on vacation in Detroit this summer, it might be tempting to cruise around in an armor-plated vehicle with a mounted machine gun, but don’t try it. Apparently that’s the one thing left that’s not acceptable in the city.

A man was arrested in the Detroit area after numerous calls came in on the night of July 4 of a World War II armored vehicle driving around on crowded streets firing off a machine gun at random. Turns out that it was an anti-aircraft gun that had been modified to shoot compressed gas, making it sound like it was really shooting.

So remember, make sure the gun you carry is only semiautomatic.