Day: July 10, 2013

As part of a special summer series, I’m putting my stethoscope to this season’s popular diets. While they’re not all terrible, they are all products of our own conflicted, misinformed era. To put this report in its proper historical context for future scientists and world leaders reading this blog:

• In the U.S.’s 10 fattest states, nearly a full third of the population is obese. Even in our thinnest state, Colorado, nearly one-fifth are obese, so Donner parties will either have to make do with less or import midnight snacks.
• On the other hand, even the average male model is expected to have a body fat percentage of six or less. (And that’s the gender with less body issues.)

So, we’re a little crazed when it comes to weight loss because (a) on average, we’re failing at it, and (b) according to our current aesthetic standards, nearly everybody has to drop a few pounds before being eligible for gene-swapping.

And that — along with an interest in science, but not in reading in-depth about it — has led to some … questionable diet choices becoming very popular, even among those who don’t need to lose much weight.

This week’s trendy diet is cleansing or, as it’s known in other circles, juice fasting. Continue reading A Dr. Snee Special Report: Cleansing Diets

The Guys have an affinity for the English language, mostly because it’s the only language we speak. (You ride the date that brung ya, you know?) But, we’re not totally obtuse about it. We recognize that, due to cultural experience and sometimes limitations, gaps exist.

Our favorite example is a German word, schadenfreude, that shameful joy we feel when something bad happens to someone we don’t particularly like. Sure, we could say, “I feel slightly bad, but not because you’re hurting, but because I shouldn’t be glad you’re in pain, yet here we are.” But, the Germans encapsulated that all in one word so that we wouldn’t have to. That’s a gift to the world.

Of course, when you receive a gift, you eventually have to give one back. (This is why you should never open your graduation cards and pretend they were lost in the mail.) It is in this spirit of linguistic exchange that we, the English-speaking world, say you’re welcome to the German people for “s**tstorm.” We’re glad to see you enjoy it as much as we have.

(The last two links contain NSFW language.)

In all cartoons that involve theft or breaking into places, a plan is drawn up. With said plan, the culprits tend to watch out for many things, such as employees, where a person is breaking into and whatnot. This is even more evident when the items to be used are normal handyman tools: screwdrivers, pliers and handsaws.

One man may have never watched cartoons in all his life. He attempted to break into the cash room of a Walmart by cutting into it. Cutting into it how? A handsaw. Smooth.

This is easily the best instance of a cartoon plot becoming real life, even more so due to the culprit casually walked out of the Walmart after being seen.

Hey, what are the kids up to these days?

It’s summertime, which means it’s time for youth to find stupid things to entertain themselves when they’re not on their smartphones, or, you know, trying to find a job. Turns out, they’re still into drinking, but then do a bit more.

In England, drunk kids are doing what’s called “McDiving.” Which is basically driving over the counter at a McDonald’s. This is apparently a common enough problem that McDonald’ses over there have bouncers at night.

“McDiving” used to refer to diving into one’s vault and swimming in the money.