We’ve found a way to make our nation’s absurdly rich help support the War on Animals (because we all know that they won’t let their sons and daughters enlist), and they don’t even know it. The beauty is that we control the enemy at the same time.
Last year, DogTV went live in San Diego. It’s a channel specifically for dogs to watch so that they don’t get bored while their owners are at work. This is pretty much only for those with cash to burn, because you have to order the channel, and you also have to pay for your power-sucking flatscreen TV to be on all day when you’re not even using it. Now, DogTV is nationwide on DirecTV next month, because it was so popular.
So the rich burn their money, but on top of that, we are now able to fill pets’ heads with propaganda. It’s like A Clockwork Orange, but without all the physical restraints. We can bring them to our side and use them against our animal foes. Let’s get working on some scripts.