You Missed It: Off into the sunset edition

This is the tale of Capt. Jack Tonto.
This is the tale of Capt. Jack Tonto.

I haven’t seen SyFy’s Sharknado movie yet, but apparently a lot of you did. The TV B-movie blew expectations away. Apparently it’s about a bunch of sharks caught up in a tornado … and Tara Reid. Does the federal government have a plan in place should this really happen one day? Sequester be damned, I want a plan! If you were busy leaving the Church of Scientology this week, odds are you missed it.

He’s not “lone” if he has a sidekick
The Lone Ranger had the same line-up as the first Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Jerry Bruckheimer producing, Gore Verbinski directing, and Johnny Depp playing the quirky character who’s not the main character but is focused on for much of the movie anyway. And it bombed. Disney put about $225 million into the film, and it took in only $49 million for its opening weekend. In all, it was a victory for race relations.

Thanks, Canada
Arguably, the person who had the biggest week was … *sigh* Justin Bieber. First, he put a hex on the Chicago Blackhawks by getting his picture taken with the Stanley Cup in the team’s locker room. Then, a video surfaced of him peeing into a mop bucket at a restaurant shouting, “F&$# Bill Clinton!” Clinton advised Bieber’s legions of female fans to do so.

Ice Cream Truckers
It’s summer, and that means ice cream trucks. In Washington, D.C. this week, an armed man carjacked an ice cream truck and got away, despite the music making it easy for police to follow him. Then, in upstate New York, a man known around town as “Mr. Ding-A-Ling” was arrested on suspicion of DUI after his ice cream truck swerved into oncoming traffic. Any day a guy in your community with that nickname is arrested, and it’s not related to sexual assault, is a good day.