The McBournie Minute: It’s not ‘video games’ it’s ‘video sports’

For years, they weren’t recognized as athletes. They fought to be seen as equals, even peers of those who get paid to play a game for adoring fans. They organized, they trained, they pushed their way into the public eye and demanded to their spot in the world of sports. Was it some fringe sport like ultimate Frisbee, whiffleball or soccer? Nope.

People who play video games for a living are now considered athletes by the U.S. government. Many people may not be aware, but there exist international leagues of eSports, or as we call them, video games. Teams compete in the games of their specialty, whether it’s a sports game or not, and compete for money. Some people are able to make a living this way.

It was done so that foreign teams have an easier time of getting into the country. What are some other benefits of this decision? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: It’s not ‘video games’ it’s ‘video sports’

Bugs bomb NYC apartment building

Bugs may have detonated themselves to blow up an apartment building in NYC. Would you like to know more?
Bugs may have used concentrated insecticide gas to detonate themselves and blow up an apartment building in NYC. Would you like to know more?

It’s tempting to throw in the towel when you consider the numbers against humanity in the War on Animals. Insects serve as the shock troops in this massive animal army, with around 200 million drones assigned to each and every human on Earth.

And it looks like one woman’s 200 million bugs were in her Chinatown apartment in New York City. That’s our only possible explanation for why she set off over 40 bug bombs — or as FDNY spokesman Jim Long put it, “an awful lot of insecticide” — in her apartment over two days. She did this in two waves, detonating at least 20 at once each day.

(For scale, a single fogger should fumigate 1,000 unobstructed square feet. The average NYC single bedroom apartment is 700 square feet.)

While the first bombing went off without a hitch, it seems the bugs were ready for the gas on the second day. Firefighters are still investigating what ignited the insecticide, resulting in an explosion that partially collapsed her five-story building and injured 14 people. They think it was a pilot light or kitchen appliance, but The Guys cannot rule out bug countermeasures.

Cows now trying to give the sleep of eternal sleep

Cows: the hidden killer. They’d eat you in a second if they ever got a chance.

Instead, they’re just relegating themselves to killing the human race, one by one.

A cow escaped from a farm (So it’s too good for our gifts? Ugh.) in Brazil and made its way to a house’s rooftop. Thanks to the laws of gravity and the utter obesity of the cow, the monster crashed through the roof and landed on a poor soul, asleep in his bed. Joao Maria de Souza was crushed by the cow.

[…] De Souza’s mother, Maria, told [Brazilian television station] SuperCanal: ‘I didn’t bring my son up to be killed by a falling cow. He nearly died when he was two and got meningitis, but I worked hard to buy medicines for him and he survived.’

‘And now he’s lying in his bed and gets crushed to death by a cow,’ she continued. ‘There’s no justice in the world.’

Bring justice back into this world: eat a hamburger, followed by a steak, and then have a Philly cheese steak.

Tiger blood hunting for Nessie — for some reason

In a move that is in no way an attempt to get more attention drawn to him, Charlie Sheen selflessly went on a hunt for the Loch Ness Monster, so that we may better understand our enemy, the animal.

Together with actor Brian Peck, Sheen went to Scotland and stayed at a castle on the famous lake. Then, from what we’ve been able to glean from media reports, he walked around, cracked a couple jokes about MIT funding the excursion, and climbed on some Nessie-related things.

For all we know, he’s on the water right now searching for this hidden threat to humanity.