MasterChugs Theater: ‘Pacific Rim’

I’m an unabashed child of the 80’s and 90’s. Transformers, Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, Ultraman, Godzilla, Gamera, Patlabor: all of these properties helped formulate my young and highly impressionable pre-teen mind.

Pacific Rim is easily the culmination of these properties. To put it bluntly, if there were a pair of unclothed breasts in the movie, then Pacific Rim would be ultimate wet dream for a very young Chris.

I hope my Mom skips that sentence. Don’t tell her I wrote that, please? Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Pacific Rim’

Wait a minute: that’s Elliot Sudal’s music!

wswfA new champion has emerged in the World Shark Wrestling Federation (not to be confused with those species traitors at the World Wildlife Fund): Elliot “The Man from Nantucket …” Sudal!

Sudal was caught on video pulling a shark out of the ocean by its tail with his bare hands and then throwing it back in. The shark’s offense? Stealing half of a bluefish that he was reeling in.

According to Sudal, he holds a 100 – 0 record against sharks, having started in the violent underground circuit in Florida before graduating up to Jaws-town. Now, will he tag team up with Paul Marshallsea for the world’s first intercontinental shark-wrestling championship? Or will the two men feud, unsatisfied with sharing glory against our animal foes?

Order SummerSharkSlam on pay-per-view to find out!

Alcohol: The bug propellant

Are you sitting down? You should be, unless you’re one of those pricks with a standing desk or something. We’ve got some news here for you, and it’s not good. Apparently, there is a downside to drinking alcohol.

We know, we know, but the light of all the health benefits that drinking blesses us with, there has to be some sort of drawback. In fact, you’ve been feeling that drawback, you just didn’t know it. According to the Smithsonian, alcohol makes you more attractive to mosquitoes.

That’s right, like the drunk girl in a bar, the booze in your system is obvious, and predators are ready to pounce. But in this case, the predators are only a couple inches long. Turns out, sweating out booze makes you smell sweeter to the ‘skeeters, which makes them seek you out.

No wonder they keep flying into walls, those bugs are hammered!