Day: July 29, 2013

I may have said this in the past, but living in D.C. is to live with constant danger. There is a constant threat that we could be attacked at any time, in any way. Or at least that’s what they keep telling us when the Department of Homeland Security needs to buy more tanks. I have adapted to this by taking thorough survival notes from episodes of The Walking Dead. (Rule #1, Let children wander off all the time.)

It’s because of this terrible threat posed by terrorists, or North Korea, or something, that we need to get more creative in how we ensure that our nation’s capital is safe, and to ensure that its government is able to continue spinning its wheels. That means we need to take to the skies.

That’s why I’m glad that Washington, D.C. will be patrolled by a fleet of blimps some time next year. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Release the blimps of war

Work began today to remove a “quote” from the recently erected Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial in Washington, D.C. today. The artist, Lei Yixin, originally applied the Fox News method of quotation; that is, taking …

Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice; say that I was a drum major for peace; I was a drum major for righteousness.

… and encapsulating it into a rage-inducing headline …

I was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness.

(So, yes, he wanted to say that, Dr. King.)

But now that the side will be replaced, Dr. King will no longer be a drum major. And just to be safe, the U.S. National Park Service will also revoke forthwith any letters he may have earned in high school band. It’s the only way to be sure.

In news that surprises no one, those old, wiley, New England Patriots are up to their old tricks by using video cameras again!

We’ve all been in the same spot before where sometimes, to be honest, we just need to poop. BAD. And it never ends well.

Sometimes, though, it gets worse than BAD. Like, REAL BAD.

For the most part, Asian countries are some of our strongest allies in the War on Animals. China is no exception. Yet they are now showing signs that their dedication to the cause could be waning.

It is there that Yunnan Wild Animal Park is trying something other zoos don’t have the courage to do: let little kids pet real tigers. Yes, children who go to that zoo are allowed to go into a pen (with parental supervision, natch) and pet a friggin’ tiger.

This move can only mean the next generation of Chinese have “better understanding” and “great respect” for animals. Or it’s just another step in China’s War on Children.