Take it from Snee: The pee is for pliability

To justify the filth that follows the jump, here's some fine art.
To justify the filth that follows the jump, here’s some fine art.

As we reported earlier today, you can grow teeth from your urine. OK, so technically, they’re grown from the stem cells found in your urine. But, still. If every debate about stem cells has proven anything, it’s that we’re a lot more concerned with where stem cells come from (looking your way, readers who exist solely because of botched abortions) than what they can actually do.

But, an article from National Geographic lists four other uses for that liquid gold we mistakenly flush or deposit on bar exteriors, including as fuel, medication, compost and a source of potable water. So, that’s one way to use what PBR made in your car and three other ways to get into your mouth, directly or indirectly.

But, those are just the uses that science has approved. Here’s what those researchers missed, just like the guy who managed to whiz all over the toilet seat. Continue reading Take it from Snee: The pee is for pliability

They were bound to read it sooner or later

It's not too surprising that Fifty Shades would be in Gitmo prisoners' wheelhouses.
It’s not too surprising that Fifty Shades would be in Gitmo prisoners’ wheelhouses.

The hot, sweaty book club for Fifty Shades of Grey is bigger than we thought. There at least 166 previously unknown members, and they’re all locked up in Gitmo.

On a recent visit to the Guantanamo detention camp,  U.S. Rep. Jim Moran, D-Va., claims to have discovered that the most popular book among the inmates is not the Koran, but the entire Fifty Shades trilogy. So, they’re sort of like Christians who claim that the Bible is their favorite book.

If we hope to ever end the War on Terror, this may be a sure sign that Western hedonism has won the day. That, or over 10 years of indefinite imprisonment and “enhanced interrogations” has turned what were potentially America’s greatest threat into BDSM enthusiasts.

So, victory?

Who would’ve thought that freshwater was bad?

  • Water parks: Their value is middling at best. Sure, they may be a strong source of relief from the heat, but there’s just SO MUCH PEE in the water.
  • Freshwater: It’s not good. There’s a reason why so much emphasis is put on filtering water before you consume it, and that reason is that everything in freshwater (and even salt water) is designed to make you at least feel bad.

Where’d you get those chompers?

Is your grill messed up? Do you not have the cash on hand to get a decent fake teeth installed? Some scientists may have found the answer, and it’s in your bladder right now.

Researchers in China have successfully grown some small teeth-like things using stem cells from urine. (Also, apparently you pee stem cells.) The down side of the urine-born teeth was that they just aren’t as strong as the ones you grew yourself.

They’re also probably yellow.