| Filed under War on Animals

Newest animal threat: grave-robbing badgers!

They're armed to the badger teeth!
They’re armed to the badger teeth!

No longer satisfied with harassing the living, badgers in Germany are now disinterring the dead! Archaeologists barely prevented a badger from making off with the medieval graves of eight people — two of which were ancient Slavic warlords — near the town of Stolpe.

The corpses are all intact; however, one of the two warlords’ swords is missing.

The archaeologists believe that the missing sword indicates that something went wrong, that the heathen Slavic warlords’ power was waning in the face of incoming Christianity. We think they’re half right: yes, their power has diminished, but in the face of incoming sword-wielding hell rats.

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