Day: September 18, 2013

If it’s still Wednesday and you’re reading this, then tomorrow (Thursday) is Talk Like A Pirate Day. If it’s Thursday morning, then it’s not too late to pretend you swallowed a bug or had a stroke and start celebrating post-haste.

The Guys have a long history with TLAPD. In fact, one of us may secretly even be a ghost pirate! (It’s Chugs. The ghost pirate guy is Chugs.)

It’s because of this intimacy with what may very well be our favorite holiday — yes, even more so than Slutoween — that gives us pause this year. What if TLAPD happens, and nobody talks like a pirate?  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Your reminder that tomorrow is Talk Like A Pirate Day

Dennis Rosenlof is a man of passion. His life is routine and orderly, but by God, he is passionate about committing to his routine: a Big Mac on Monday and Wednesday, two on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and one, perhaps a second, if it’s Friday.

This has been the Dennis Rosenlof Pattern For Success (trademark) for three decades now.

That’s right: three decades spent following this pattern and Rosenlof has not kicked the bucket. In fact, the 64 year old man actually eats less calories than most on average AND he doesn’t even have high cholesterol.

I for one welcome our new fast food eating overlord.

If you’ve listened to AM radio at all over the past five years or so, you know that men are oppressed. Everywhere you turn, men are being kept down by this gynocracy. (We’re leaving out the racial part, apparently it gets worse.)

That’s why we’re happy to report that men have finally reached an important milestone on the path to being treated as equals: Butterball wants to hire men to work on the Turkey Talk Line. We’re not talking about some menial job, like installing the phone lines, we mean actually talking to customers and giving advice about how to cook a turkey.

Stand with pride, guys. But make sure your fly is zipped first.