Day: September 23, 2013

Every corner of the U.S. is feeling the effects of the weak economy, and the Happiest Place on Earth is no exception. Though Disney as a company continues to do well, Disneyland and Walt Disney World are feeling the effects. People don’t have as much money to throw around for a vacation right now.

And since theme parks are designed to separate one from one’s money, it seems to make sense that fewer people are going to these, especially when airfare and hotel expenses are factored in. But it should be obvious that it’s not just the economy, but the obvious kowtowing to special-interest groups that makes the world-famous resorts less palatable. The average family has had enough of Disney’s favoritism for a certain group.

The special-interest group I am referring to, of course, is the handicapped. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Disney vs. the handicapped

Perhaps Nicolas Maduro has a point.

The wall-crawler known as Spider-Man has gone by many names over the years: Peter Parker, Ben Reilly (boo!), Miguel O’Hara, Otto Octavius, Miles Morales, Peter Parquah, Max Borne, Pavitr Prabhakar, and Mac Gargan, just to name a few. We can now add Jonathan Hewson to the list.

But he battles not for the forces of good! No, Hewson allegedly, while dressed as everyone’s favorite neighborhood superhero, ran into a convenience store and demanded to know how much money was in a register. That’s it. Hewson was then scared off by his natural enemy, the stun gun. According to his roommate:

‘He’s a Spiderman enthusiast. He’s just a college kid and college kids tend to do strange things,’ he said.

If he was a real Spider-Man enthusiast, he’d keep getting bitten by spiders until he gets spider-powers, not wanting to know the contents of a register.

The iPhone 5s has only been on sale for three days, and reviews are already in: the people who pre-order or wait in line for new iPhones are kind of sad. Also, they harbor the enemy: animals.

The new phone comes with a new fingerprint recognition system used to unlock the phone and authorize purchases. And you can add other authorized users by scanning their fingerprints into your phone. At least two people — which, in the news, is an epidemic (see: “buttchugging” or “bird flu”) — have added their pets’ pawprints after discovering that this totally works, you guys.

While it’s adorable to use your chihuahua to unlock your phone for now, it’s not going to be so funny when animals join forces with Siri and win the Wars on Animals and Robots.

This can’t be good.

In Sweden, scientists are finding rats and mice that are immune to common rat poisons. This is disconcerting for the Swedes, because poisoning rats is practically a national pastime, and also, rats are gross. Finding that these pests are immune to one of our most effective weapons in this war means it’s time to get creative.

It’s time to invent some comically complicated rat traps.