Day: September 26, 2013

Fans of the popular crime thrillers written by the late Donald E. Westlake under the pseudonym Richard Stark know that the fictional character called Parker is a professional thief with excellent work habits. He’s precise and efficient. He also has a strict moral code: He’s a cool killer, for instance, but he doesn’t steal from the poor. There’s your ethics for you. On the assumption, however, that not everyone who goes to see Jason Statham in Parker is a reader of Stark, the protagonist in this grinding, business-like thing is made to say things more or less like “I’m a cool killer, but I don’t steal from the poor.” Usually, he states his case before beating a guy senseless, or knifing him, or (a Parker favorite) shooting him. True to his code, when he’s feeling generous, he only shoots to wound.

It’s a good thing that he’s such a unique character like that. Otherwise he’d be utterly generic. In an otherwise utterly generic movie.

Oh, wait. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Parker’

Unfortunately, it would seem that we aren’t hitting are total demographic. That’s right, we’re talking to you slackers that aren’t reading this news story. Not out of complete apathy, but probably because of that.

15 percent of the United States willingly shuns the Internet. The INTERNET. This is unbelievable! We’re only hitting 85 percent of our total demographic, and kids, that’s not good. We need more hits. Clean that number, people.

Oh, and for those wondering, our demographic is this: Age 34 to 15, Caucasiatic Greco-Hungeromanian-ic, Heshe.

Atlanta might be thought of as a nice place to live these days. Aside from the odd chance of bumping into a real housewife, it’s a generally fun city. But now it might get turned into a war zone. (Again.)

A suburb of Atlanta is being overrun with wild pigs, so much so that the children are afraid to play outside. The really sad thing here is that feral pigs are apparently a problem in the more rural parts of Georgia, so much so that there are no restrictions on pig hunting season.

It might be time to go huny some bacon — and save children, too.