In defense of Lululemon’s sheer yoga pants

This would never happen in Lululemon yoga pants. Jus' saying.
This would never happen in Lululemon yoga pants. Jus’ saying.

Things are not looking good for yoga pants manufacturer Lululemon. The company is now facing a combined lawsuit that accuses them of deliberately concealing that their women’s black yoga pants become nearly sheer when worn, due to the fibers being stretched by — as termed in yoga studios — dat ass.

Lululemon’s allegedly concealed the design flaw until they finally had to recall the pants and their CEO, Christine Day, resigned, triggering a sudden, unexpected 17.5 percent drop (valued at $1.62 billion) in their stock in a single day. This hit the Louisiana Sheriffs’ Pension & Relief Fund hard since they own about $1.3 million in Lululemon stock.

So, to help a Louisiana Sheriff retire, The Guys have volunteered to make sheer yoga pants a thing. Sure, it means showing your ass to the world, but isn’t it worth not stewing in your own farts?

It'd make his day if you'd just wear the shear yoga pants.
It’d make his day if you’d just wear the sheer yoga pants.

Think about it.

Published by

Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of “moron,” some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and — on one occasion — a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven’t heard of it). Really, he’s just one of The Guys, y’know?