You Missed It: Three-way call edition

"Angela, how did I know you were going to call?"
“Angela, how did I know you were going to call?”

I’ve mentioned this before, but when my team is in the playoffs, it’s a pretty hectic week for me. It’s not because I’m nervous of fretting, or can’t think about anything else. It’s that I have to watch the entire game, regardless of what time I have to get up. Even more so for the Red Sox, because when I drink, they play better. This makes functioning the rest of the time a bit more challenging. My point is, if this ends up not being in English, you know why. If the Rams asked you to come out of retirement this week, odds are you missed it.

Uh oh, Germany’s mad
This week, it was leaked that U.S. spy agencies may have tapped German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s cell phone. It’s the latest in a series of revelations that America is spying on its allies. Merkel called President Barack Obama to discuss her concerns. He apologized for the incident, and said that he was really just trying to experience Oktoberfest vicariously through her because Michelle won’t let him go.

The candidate who won’t narc on you
Maryland Attorney General Doug Gansler, who is running for governor found himself in an unwanted spotlight this week when photos surfaced of him at a party where there was underage drinking going on. The photos, from earlier this year, show Gansler, who is fairly easy to spot, in a crowd of teenagers in swimsuits and holding cups. In one picture, he’s holding up his phone. This is true: Gansler said he was not taking a photo of the party, in fact, he doesn’t even know how to use the camera on his smartphone.

Enter ice man
It was announced this week that Metallica will play a show in Antarctica this December. The concert is being done as part of a deal with Coca Cola, and will include an eight-day cruise with the band members. The band said they are excited to play Antarctica, because they have heard that penguins are big metalheads, and they want to shake a glacier loose by rocking so hard.

Fish mating rituals will keep you up at night

There’s a town in England where no one gets a good night’s sleep. They go to bed, they fall asleep, but then all of a sudden, a hum pulsates through the homes, disturbing all of the residents. It has gotten so bad that some people have left the area just so they can sleep.

Turns out, it’s a type of fish in the river trying to hook up. Male Midshipman fish try to hum to attract females, and the hum is so low that it carries out of the water and into buildings. Also, they just like to mess with us.

Cartilage body, razor teeth, glass nose

Surfers tend to get a lot of flack for potentially being morons, but in truth, they’re some of the best recon soldiers in the War on Animals. Their ability to crest open waves and suss out aquatic enemies is invaluable for our naval battles.

But some of the sea-based enemy combatants are fairly large. Warrior of the Week Jeff Horton encountered one such rival recently in beautiful Kauai. Unfortunately for him, it tried to attack him with a fury, clearly ignorant of war-time peace protocols. A large shark, attacking Horton, in what’s not necessarily our territory, doesn’t exactly bode well for a good story. So what did the surfer do?

He punched that dumb shark in its dumb shark eye. And that shark got ta steppin’.