Wait, there’s a bad aspect to Sriracha?

If you were to conduct a poll amongst the individuals behind this website, you’d probably find that I have the weakest stomach. They literally don’t call me Cast Iron Chug for a reason. I enjoy a little bit of pepper to taste on my food and that’s about it. That said, sriracha is delicious. Yes, it will destroy your taste buds (and parts of your tongue), but at least they’ll die an honorable death.

Unfortunately, sriracha seems to only be good when it comes to your tongue. When it comes to your throat, your mucous membranes and your eyes, the sauce is not so great. Granted, that was a given, as adding chili sauce to your body hurts.

Apparently, though, chili sauce that no longer becomes chili sauce can still hurt you. And that’s when the law gets involved.

Amid supply shortfall, wine industry hopes Jesus comes back soon

Because of the shortage of grapes, it is no longer peanut butter jelly time.
Because of the shortage of grapes, it is no longer peanut butter jelly time.

Folks, we got some shocking news for the purple-toothed. You may want to put your breakfast cab down for a moment: the world is running out of wine.

According to the lushes at Morgan Stanley Research, all the wine-producing countries in the world fell short of global demand by 300 million cases, or as they call it in France, “Wednesday.” It’s the biggest wine shortfall in your lifetime, and next year doesn’t look much better.

What’s the solution? Wean your girlfriend off of wine and get her to start drinking beer and liquor. Just make sure she doesn’t learn to like whiskey, you don’t want to have to share your stash.